Isolation

The term hikikomori was coined by a psychiatrist in the late-90s to describe the mostly young men who had retreated from society and isolated themselves, often in just one room, for months or years at a time. There are an estimated 1.5 million hikikomori in Japan alone – yet the phenomenon is recognisable elsewhere. It’s an extreme version of the stereotypical ‘computer geek’, shut away in a basement or flat: existing, but really living out their life online.

Most of us feel far from this kind of lifestyle. We can’t imagine ourselves living in such an extreme way – yet with the advances in technology we can see how easily it might happen. In the past few months, as many of us have stayed at home indoors following government instruction, we’ve seen how much of life is still possible with an internet connection.

Much of this is helpful. With a couple of taps I can order practically anything I want and find it on my doorstep within 24 hours. The improvements in video-calling platforms have allowed us to stay in touch with family and friends. For people who are homebound for any reason, the internet is a lifeline for combatting isolation and loneliness.

Yet ironically – as we see in the extreme case of the hikikomori – it can also do the very opposite. The challenge in our strange new time is to cultivate our use of technology in a way that keeps us connected with people, rather than driving us into isolation and loneliness.

Made to relate

Independence is often lauded as a high ideal, particularly in Western culture. Britain is a largely individualistic society. We are encouraged to strike out on our own, to be true to ourselves, to be independent.

Yet these are not sentiments promoted by a biblical worldview. The Bible opens with the account of a Trinitarian God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) creating humanity, male and female. Made in the image of God, humans are created to have relationship with God and with one another.

The events of Genesis 3 speak of the undoing of this original plan. Both the sinful actions of Adam and Eve and the consequences of their sin break relationships: the world is characterised by deception, hiding, blaming, enmity, conflict, misunderstanding, frustration, and ultimately banishment and death. Throughout the Bible, humanity’s sinfulness is shown in rejecting the relationship God offers, instead attempting to go it alone. The devastating consequences of that action – death and hell – are essentially permanent isolation and independence, cut off from God.

Independence is not the ideal our culture would have us believe. We are made for relationship with one another and with God. We’re not supposed to ‘go it alone’. When technology attempts to persuade us we can manage without anyone else, we need to see it for the lie it is.

Given that studying this year might look more like time on your computer in your room than in lecture theatres and labs, you’ll face even more temptation to retreat and isolate.

Here are a couple of ways to combat some of that temptation.

Step out of your room and your comfort zone

When we’re in new or difficult places or situations, we can be tempted to retreat and hide. When you’re placed into a flat or on a corridor with a bunch of strangers, the temptation can be to shut yourself in your room.

Our faith in Jesus calls us to do the opposite. We believe in trust in a God who, despite our rejection of him, stooped down and stepped into our world. Jesus became like us, to mend the relationship we had broken and put us right with God. As followers of Christ we’re called to follow him, stepping out of the comfort of our rooms, and offering service and friendship to others.

Your flatmates may feel scared and overwhelmed too. They too may want to retreat and to hide away, but they too were made for relationships with others and with God. It’s good for them to be drawn out of themselves. And as you step out and extend the hand of friendship, you may well have the opportunity to introduce them to that God too.

Stay connected with God’s people

Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Individualism affects us more than we realise, even when it comes to thinking about our faith. We can be are fooled into thinking that we can do the Christian life on our own. But that’s not a biblical idea.

Church isn’t an ‘optional extra.’ If you are a Christian, then you are part of the Church – and the way God has designed things assumes that you will be part of a local church family. As Hebrews explains, the point of being part of a church family is to support and encourage one another in following Christ, until the day that we see him face to face. You should be part of a church family for your sake, and for theirs; so that you can encourage them, and they can encourage you.

Being part of a local church at the moment looks a little different to normal. Some of our church families aren’t meeting in person, and they might not for a little while. That doesn’t mean that you can’t participate in other ways.

Whilst churches are still ‘meeting together’ online, you might find it easier staying connected with your church at home. But you should eventually look to church family in your new city. Your local Christian Union will be glad to help you connect with churches close to you.