Porn

One of the ugliest things about the internet is the easy access it gives us to pornography. Porn isn’t a new thing, but each advancement of technology has exaggerated the quantity, availability and explicitness of porn.

The sheer scale of easily accessible, hardcore pornography – freely available to access with just an internet connection – is vast. Its effect is devastating. The more we use porn, the more our brains are shaped by it: neuronal pathways leading to addictive behaviour are built, and our perceptions of pleasure are changed. An effect is that extreme, degrading and violent sexual activity is increasingly viewed as normal by those who regularly use pornography.

Another terrible effect centres around the people (and particularly, the women) portrayed in the films. There are an estimated 21-32 million people in slavery around the world. 22% of those people (between 4-7 million) are trafficked for sex acts, including for making pornographic videos. The recent campaign to close PornHub has cited cases of pornography featuring women who had been drugged and raped, and videos containing underage girls.

Yet, as Christians we contend with another, more significant issue: what does God think about porn?

God’s design for sex

Throughout the Bible, God’s design for sex is very different to the one portrayed by porn.

Porn says that sex is all about the individual: about me, my pleasure and my gratification. People in films are objects, existing only to satisfy my desires and cravings. Yet the Bible says something fundamentally opposite. The right place for sex is within a marriage, and it’s to be selfless rather than selfish; for the pleasure of your spouse, rather than yourself.

Genesis 2 sets up a pattern for marriage where husband and wife join and become ‘one flesh.’ 1 Corinthians 7 spells it out further: ‘The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.’ Sex, as far as the Bible is concerned, is never about self-gratification but about serving and bringing joy to another.

Underlying this logic is the biblical understanding that neither marriage nor sex primarily concerns human relationships. They point to us to a bigger, better and eternal reality: the relationship between Jesus – the true, best and kindest bridegroom – and the Church – the undeserving, but loved, rescued and forgiven bride.

This ultimate meaning of marriage reframes our views about sex. As we grow to know and love Christ more deeply, through the work of the Holy Spirit, we come to understand the place of sex more deeply too.

So where should we turn if we feel like we are failing in the area of internet pornography?

Help for failing people

God’s standard is perfection, and we have all fallen short. It may be that your track record with pornography fills you with grief, regret and shame. Grief is right, but it’s better still that we bring our sin to Jesus, asking for his forgiveness and help. He is good and kind, and if you are in him then – as 1 Corinthians 6:11 puts it – you have been washed clean, made holy and declared right - not because you deserve it, but because Jesus is these things and freely shares them with you.

Alongside Jesus’ supreme help, it’s helpful to be helped by a Christian friend with whom you can talk too. When we feel ashamed of things it feels easier to keep them to ourselves, but opening up and exposing our secrets can be the best way to break the cycle (see Ephesians 5:8-13). The best place to find someone to talk to about this is going to be in your church family – perhaps someone you know in your home church, or someone you are getting to know in your new church at university. If you want help connecting with a local church then the Christian Union will be able to assist.

You might also help to set some physical boundaries in place - perhaps a lock on your phone or computer that stops you from accessing explicit material. You could invest in an account with a programme like Covenant Eyes, which allows you to set up an accountability monitor on your devices, sending reports of the sites you’ve visited to a trusted friend. Neither of these boundaries will fix your heart, but you might find them useful.

Yet ultimately the solution to our brokenness and shame is not going to be solved by a computer programme or filter for our browsers, or even our own willpower. The answer is only found in God, who has saved you, and who by his Spirit is reshaping your heart to look like and long for Jesus.